Far From Lonely
by Chantal Flameshadow
Summary: I love The Used! Can you tell?After a prank gone wrong or right, Sirius becomes a little kid and revisits his long buried obsession with werewolves. When he becomes a teen again, he and Remus must come to grips with something long hidden. RLSB slash
1. It's Too Early for This

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. And be glad I don't, or I would do some really twisted shit. …Like shoot Harry with a Desert Eagle. Or an AK. …A really big gun.**

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Earth-colored eyes stared in fascination and horror at the small boy sitting in the winged armchair by the fire. He couldn't have been no more than seven. The curve of his neck, the proud sloping of his nose Remus Lupin took in with dawning realization. Inky black hair, pale skin. _Oh, hell. _If the boy awakened and opened his eyes, the werewolf was ready to bet his entire supply of chocolate that his eyes would have been a stormy gray like the sky before a storm. 

"I _really _hope this is another one of my sick dreams."

"Hello, Moony!" An all-too-familiar voice chirped behind him. A vein pulsed in his forehead as Remus turned around to view his latest migraine, neatly packaged up and brought to him in the form of Hogwarts' favorite terrorist: James Potter.

"What have you done?" It was all the werewolf could do to keep from growling. "How did this happen?" Angry tears sprang unbidden into his eyes for reasons he didn't know. Why did it matter so much? It was probably just a joke.

"I want the old Sirius back. Change. Him. Back."

Tousled red hair was the first thing that could be seen bouncing down the stairs from the girl's dormitory, green eyes filmed over from sleep. 10:30 on a Saturday morning was too early for this kind of drama. Lily Evans quickly surveyed the scene: Remus close to tears, James looking a little too pleased with himself, and a small boy sitting by the fire. All this added up to one thing…which was something she didn't know. But she _did_ know James had to be behind it.

_Smack!_

"Ow! Bloody hell, Evans! What did you hit me for?" James gingerly rubbed the back of his head. The woman was a fiery angel, in looks and in spirit, but she really needed to stop hitting him for every little thing he did wrong.

"Whatever you did, you need to fix it! I don't appreciate you hurting my friend like that –"

"He's my friend, too, Evans! It's only temporary!"

"Excuse me." The voice was so small, it would have been missed if Remus didn't pick it up. He turned towards the smaller Sirius and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Yes?"

Sirius yawned and stretched, strands of his hair falling into his angelic face. Why did everyone look so upset? "Does anyone know of any werewolves around here?"

The silence in the Gryffindor common room was so complete, you could've heard a pin drop.

"Well? Are there?"

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A/N: Okay, I'm ashamed of this chapter. P I promise the next one will be better. Don't hurt me, it's my first fanfic! **

**Sirius: -tugs on the sleeve of some random reader- Hey, didja know that the word _werewolf_ is a con-contraction of the old-um…Saxton, I think, word _wer_ (which means "man") and wolf - manwolf. Lycanthrope, often used to describe werewolves, actually refers to someone who suffers from a mental disease of fantasizing being a wolf. This particular mental disorder is termed lycanthropy. **

**Chanta: oo Why isn't he that studious at Hogwarts?**


	2. Sirius' Obsession

**A/N: Only three reviews, but that's okay! Only one would've persuaded me to keep going. (But don't let that stop you. –winkwink-) Anyway, I'd love to thank Amberhawk for helping me correct my mistake that I definitely wouldn't have noticed on my own, Angels-above and thequeeneb just for reviewing! Love you all!**

**Disclaimer: The only thing that's changed is the gun I shoot Harry with. Today's gun: Beretta

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"Well? Are there?"

Everyone started talking at once, only the better to cover up their burning faces. Well…except Lily. James just grabbed her hand and it made her rather flustered.

"Um…"

"I don't know, Sirius."

"Do you want to go to the library?"

The last statement was made by Remus, just because if you couldn't' find something, it was more than likely the library had it. Even if a werewolf was staring him in the face. Sirius looked from one person to the other, eyes lighting on Remus when he made the suggestion. "Remy!" He leapt out of the chair and latched onto Remus' robes.

"…You're older. What happened?"

"Do you know me, Sirius?"

"Of course!" The little boy beamed, showing the gap where his front teeth should've been.

"Your mama used to bring you over to play with me, 'member? And my mama," he shuddered at the mention, "used to bring me over to play with you. You spent the night once, helped me knock out these teeth. Didja f'get, Remy?"

Yes, he did forget. He _did _remember that his mother didn't want him stuck in the house all the time, but she never said where she was taking him. But there was a creepy house and a little boy he nicknamed… "Siri-B?"

"Yes!" He jumped up and down, showing off his toothless gums proudly. "You 'member!"

"Only a little, Siri." He hugged him close and smelled the soap his mom made him use at the time: raspberry.

"So _that's _why he was always so friendly towards you," James muttered. "You two were friends."

"I guess so."

Lily was about ready to pass out from sleep deprivation, so she waved goodbye and left for her dormitories. She would sort out everyone's problems after she had a good morning's sleep. And not before.

James sighed after her. "She'll be mine one day. Just you wait, Moony. She'll be mine."

"Yes, James." Remus picked up the tiny Sirius and situated him on his hip.

"How long is this stuff gonna last?"

"Huh?" What? He was thinking about Lily, run that past again?

"The…whatever you did to Sirius. Prank, I guess. How long?"

"Oh, right. Yeah. Um…a couple of days."

"How about this?" He started to climb out of the portrait hole and looked back at James, earthen eyes sharpened to a golden brown.

"If he's not back to normal by Tuesday, I'm hexing you so badly your _parents _will suffer from it." With that, he left, faintly hearing James' 'yes, Moony'.

That idiot! They had a Charms test on Monday; Merlin knows Padfoot needed to study. And what if he didn't change back on Monday? What then? Seven-year-olds couldn't go to Hogwarts. Thank goodness for the professors. If Sirius wasn't back to normal Monday morning, he was telling…whom should he tell? McGonagall? Well…to be honest, all she could do was give James a year's worth of detention. This wasn't grounds for expulsion.

Sirius was a better seven-year-old than a teenager, quiet with his thumb in his mouth as Remus walked down the corridors to the library. Luckily Ms. Big Bird (also known as Madam Pince) wasn't at her post, so Remus walked in unnoticed with Sirius. He set him down at a table far off in the corner and knelt down beside him. "What would you like to read?"

"I don't like to read." Again, that gap-toothed smile. "But if it's on werewolves, okay!" He beamed and it was as if rays of cuteness were aimed directly at Remus. This had to be illegal for a seven-year-old…

He gathered three large books with faded titles he couldn't make out, but remembered the books from when he had looked up his own condition in a fit of boredom. "Here."

"Yay!" But the child didn't open the books, just rested his chin in his hands and looked across the table at Remus. And while the werewolf was busy looking through a book he found under his seat, the piercing gaze of a minor was starting to unnerve him.

"Yes, Sirius?" He looked up and Sirius hadn't moved an inch – still staring.

"Remy?"

"Yes?"

"You're pretty."

"What?" He looked around to make sure Big Bird wasn't about to swoop down on them from his outburst. Did the boy just call him 'pretty'? (Pronounced: Preety) What the deuce did that mean?

"What do you mean preety? I mean, pretty."

"I said you're preety."

"What? Like…like a girl?"

"No!" He pulled a face in obvious disgust. "Girls are ucky."

_That's not what he'll be saying in a few years. _"Then what?"

"Like a…um…I forgot the word. Those, um, peoples with the wings and the halos…"

"Angels?"

"Yeah! Angels! That's the one!" Casting his gray gaze back and forth, he leaned closer to Remus. "I always thought you were preety. And then, now you're old. You look preetier."

His eyes must've been as big and round as dinner plates. Sirius Black, the official Ladies Man of Hogwarts, thought he was pretty? His seven year old self anyway. You could never be sure of what fifteen-year-old Sirius thought about anyone except Severus. That was hate you could only miss if you were a rock.

"Um…thank you." Did he always think this or was it just when he was seven?

"Are you a werewolf, Remy?"

"Yes. …Hey, wait!" _Where did _that _come from? _The question was so sudden, he didn't think about answering. If this were a complete stranger things would've been different. This was Sirius! But it wasn't a (almost) mature Sirius…

It was like two thousand-watt bulbs clicked on behind the boy's eyes and he bounced out of his chair. He started jumping around, pointing at Remus, the world's biggest grin on his face. "Remy is a werewolf! Remy is a werewolf!"

"Shh! Be quiet!" Remus flailed at him to be quiet, panic freezing his veins. If anyone heard…

"Remy is a werewolf! Remy is a werewolf!"

"Hush, you little runt!"

"Remy is a werewolf! Remy is a werewolf!"

Okay, that was enough. "Shut up, dog-boy!"

He froze, cute face twisted in confusion. "Who's dog-boy?"

"You are. Now let's go." A little rougher than he intended, he grabbed Sirius' hand and almost dragged him out of the library, ignoring the angry looks he got from Madam Big Beak. Augh. Now he knew how it felt to be a father with a big-mouthed child. He felt sorry for his parents who actually had to deal with this nutter. No wonder Mrs. Black always seemed like a few screws were loose.

"Now, Sirius, you have to promise me something, okay?"

"Okay, Remy!" He was bouncing along again, showing off his gap like it was something to be proud of.

"Don't tell anyone you see that I'm a…werewolf. Promise me, Siri! Swear on your…swear on your werewolf books!" To be honest, he had no clue if he had any. Books weren't number one on Padfoot's priority list. But obviously it worked, as Sirius' face got very grave.

"I swear on every book of werewolves I own, that I won't tell no one."

"Very good," Remus breathed at last. He stopped to pick him up and continued down the corridor. Great. Just flippin' great. It wasn't as bad having mature teenagers that knew how to keep their mouths shut know your deepest, darkest secrets. But a little kid? Can you say 'nightmare' with a capital 'N'?

"Hey, Remy?" Sirius whispered. It was amazing how innocent he could sound, even while holding Remus' fate in his tiny hands.

"Yes?" he whispered back.

"Did you know that the first werewolf was a bloke named Peter Stubbe? See, he started practicing sorcery…"

Remus groaned inwardly and wished he could disappear into his own furry little curse.

This felt like the start of a _long _day.


	3. Regulus is OLDER?

**A/N: GOD! Not one of you have any clue how much your reviews mean to me. I mean it. Really. Um…some things I wanted to address:**

**Maturity: See reviews. I explained it there. But if you're too lazy (I know there are some of you out there!), let me say it again. I am basing Sirius' behavior off of how I acted when I was seven. (Hyperactive, immature…) I only said I didn't know why because no one told me. V.v I asked after about my second review from Amberhawk and it turns out I was on some weird allergy medication that caused hyperactivity and mood swings. I'll try to fix his maturity later on. Geeh. I have nothing to go on, now. X.X I was sucking my thumb at seven, I'll have you know, Sarcastic Romanic. P Nervous habit.**

**Details: Um…hehe. ; I haven't had time to write them out, simple as that. I was sneaking on my computer because I was "grounded" from it and I have the kind of mom that likes to burst in on you for no good reason. And if she were _your_ mom…you wouldn't want to get caught, either. But I'll make more of an effort from now on! **

**Thanks to: Amberhawk for being my new beta (love ya!) and Sarcastic Romance for pointing out my detail problem. I less than three you! Thanks also to thequeenb, Puppzze and Kurai-Hime just for reviewing. I hope my fic doesn't ruin your Sirius/Remus experience. Heart you all!**

**Oh, and please give a very special shout out to KittyAuthor6 who came up with the idea of Sirius being a kid. I completely forgot and I feel _so _bad. ;.; I'm sorry, Lizard! **

**Disclaimer: Today's gun: .44 Magnum**

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A vein pulsed in Remus' forehead as Sirius bounced around like a sugar-high pixie, the fire not good enough of a distraction to block his voice. Werewolves this and werewolves that… Honestly, if he heard one more fact about his own little problem, he would…he was going to… What _was _he going to do? _Nothing. I'm not going to do anything but sit here and stew in my own annoyance. _Who could blame him? The kid was unstoppable, either babbling like a brook, or silent as the grave. He was always in someone's face, spouting facts about werewolves. _Wait a tick…_

"Oi! Sirius, come here!" Slender fingers quickly moved the large book before it was annihilated by 98 pounds of child. He could've sworn he heard the couch groan as Sirius took a minute or two to settle himself in comfortably and when he did, he grinned at Remus.

"Yeah?"

"Sirius… Um, do you have an older brother named Regulus?" He watched the child shift around as his gray eyes suddenly found his fingers a lot more interesting.

"Well?"

"Yeah-huh. He nine now. Mama and Dad are so bloody proud. They're sendin' him to Hogwarts in a few years. He made shoes fly, so what?" It was like he was curling in on himself, trying to make himself smaller. Tears pooled in his eyes as the happy little kid from only a few minutes ago was stripped down to a victim of neglect.

"It's not a big deal."

"Of course not." Through their entire friendship, Sirius hadn't said a word about feeling alone as a child. He had talked about Regulus ("That ass-kissing son of a bitch! That Voldemort-humping whore!") almost non-stop for a while, but he never said anything about being overshadowed. Who would've known that the charismatic, troublemaking, flirtatious, charming, wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking Sirius Black could ever feel surpassed. _Did someone just finish reading a thesaurus? _So it got a little…melodramatic there for a minute. Somebody come and sue him for having a good vocabulary.

Suddenly, Sirius' arms were around him in a would-be-crushing hug. Shocked at first, Remus just sat there, eyes wide. Then, he slowly snaked his arms around the little boy and though the common room still buzzed with activity, everything faded into the background until it was only them. Just him and Sirius, together in a realm where nothing could go wrong. They sat there for a few minutes, staring into the fire, both wrapped up in their respective thoughts.

_I need some time to think. _But how do you break away from the one who needed him most right now? _Whenever I don't need James to cause trouble, he's always right there. But when I need him…_

"Wotcher!" He covered Sirius just in time for a stream of multi-colored light to whiz over their heads and crash into the fireplace, where it dissolved into tiny sparks and turned the fire a bright purple. _Just in time. _The moment was lost, left to float on in the stream of time, as James bounded over to them, fingers running through his hair to give him the classic 'I can pull this off because I'm so damn sexy like that' look. He looked like his hair was trapped in the Body-Bind. Merlin. But Remus had never been any happier to see that ridiculous hairdo in his life. He needed some time alone, needed it almost as badly as he needed air. But he couldn't just leave with no excuse.

"Sorry about that, mate. I dunno what went wrong…" James looked considerably embarrassed, which was no small feat for the usually confident fifth year. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced over his shoulder at Lily sitting by the window. "It was supposed to be a big purple bird…"

The werewolf shook his head and gently broke the embrace, settling back into the cushions of the couch while Sirius stared at James. _He's staring at his stupid hair, more like. _Why was he always trying to impress Lily? She barely even knew he existed! _Barely. So for James, that means he has a chance. _Right. Of course. _Wait…there's the excuse! While you're off by yourself, try to help James along as well. _…It was worth a shot. "James, listen. Maybe Lily wouldn't hate you so much if you didn't try so hard. Or, better yet, if you weren't such a prat every time she walks past." He raised his hand to stop James' incoming protests.

"Now, look. I'm going down to the kitchens for a moment to myself, so do me a favor; I know it's difficult for you. But…stay _here _and try not to do anything…stupid.(1) I think I know a way to solve your problem." Without hearing James' response, Remus got up and left the common room, the corridors dimly lit with what little sunlight the clouds in the sky didn't cover. He looked out the window and frowned at the sky, turning to go not to the kitchens, but to the Astronomy Tower, his favorite place to be alone. As he climbed the stairs, only one thought stood out in his mind:

_Why did being so close to Sirius feel so…right? _

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**A/N: Sorry, my brain kind of died at the end, there. X.x Um…sorry for the delay, I was computerless at my auntie's and I was having too much fun at the racetrack to write. Now... -dies of shame-**

**(1) "Do us a favor; I know it's difficult for you. But…stay _here _and try not to do anything…stupid." – Quote courtesy of Jack Sparrow in the movie Pirates of the Caribbean**


	4. A Filler Chapter of Self Reflection

**A/N: Sorry for the delayed update. ) Major writer's block, I'm tellin' you. That and I've had a lot of stuff to do. Forgive me! –bows low- Anyway, thanks again to Amberhawk and all who reviewed. You keep me going. Love you all!**

**Disclaimer: Colt .45**

**P. S. Fanfiction kept telling me that I was uploading an empty document. Am I the only one having this problem or is it others? Please tell me! **

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When Remus reached the top of the Astronomy Tower, the world had taken on a strange blur. The stairs seemed more like a gray waterfall than stone; the leaves on the trees were just large patches of green, just color instead of object. He settled himself on the floor, shielding himself from the wind, now officially alone with his thoughts.

He had never really had much luck with the opposite gender; strangely enough, not one of them liked the mysterious type of guy. They wanted to know everything about everybody and they'd just push, push, push until he cracked. Even his first kiss came with a price. But, at twelve, _everything _came with a price, didn't it?

_"I'll kiss you if you tell me where you go every month." _

_"But…Katherine, I can't…there's nothing to tell. My mom is sick. That's all."_

_She pressed her lips against his, a soft fleeting touch. "Now you _have _to tell me."_

_"I don't _have _to tell you anything." Why couldn't she just let it lie?_

_"Then I don't _have _to be your girlfriend." Away she stomped, gold hair swinging in that ponytail she always wore. The happiest week of his life…ruined._

There were other girls after that: Alicia and Jennifer. They weren't much different. Not like Sirius and the other Marauders. Even though they found out on their own, they took his secret and accepted it, because they knew the person behind the monster.

They really were the best friends you could get.

But Sirius…he was always special. Always the first to be there at the hospital wing, the first to casually take his books after the full moon. Sirius and James may have been the best of friends, but Remus always thought they shared something special. Was it because all these acts of kindness were so subtle, you wouldn't notice them? Was it because he caught the peculiar look that crossed Sirius' stormy eyes before he asked him a question? It was like a math problem, long and complicated, but he couldn't seem to find the solution. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Did these things actually mean something?

Most of all: what did it mean to him?

_I don't know what it means to me, _he thought irritably. _That's why I'm here. Trying to sort myself out. _It's not working. _I can see that. _This is getting you nowhere, Lupin! Now, think: how much do you like Sirius? _Well, he's kind, he's charming, he's confident and not to mention gorgeous! _That's what you like _about _him, you stupid git. In general, do you like him? _By 'like'… _You very well what you mean. _I think so…I mean, I haven't loved a guy before – _But you've loved a girl? _Well…no. _Does he make your heart flutter? _Um… _Do you stare at him like he's the only one on earth? _Sometimes. _Do you find him beautiful? _…Yes. But, then, so does everyone else. That doesn't mean I love him. _It could. Do you feel as if you couldn't live without him?

_Yes. _

True, he had often thought about what would happen if he and his friends were separated. He couldn't deny that he felt a little ill when he thought of Sirius disappearing from his life, but pegged it down to something funny he ate at dinner. Besides, Sirius more than likely didn't feel the same way. But a man who changes girls like shoes must have something to hide._ Maybe, maybe. _He would try to find out when he was turned back.

Meanwhile, it would be in his best interest if he thought of something for James. _Hmm…_

Commence operation: Show Lily You're Not a Complete Prat


	5. A Filler Chapter to Satisfy the Masses

**A/N: Okay, this may seem EXTREMELY random, but it sort of has to do with the plot, so I would read it if I were you. :) I'll fit it in somehow, don't you worry. This is just something to try and keep from losing readers. :) Um…oh! Hehe…there was an accident while I was typing up the next chapter. It got erased. –sadness- So, if any of you have a suggestion (yes, you too my lovely beta) on how operation whatever-it-is-because-I'm-too-lazy-too-remember goes, PM me, email me, something!**

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Remus walked around a stage set up to look like the Hogwarts grounds, dressed in magenta dress robes, his hair pulled into a ponytail at the base of his neck. He began to sing in a rich alto._"If there's a prize for rotten judgment_  
_I think I've already won that  
__No man is worth the aggravation  
__It's ancient history, been there  
__Done that!"_

James, Peter, Lily, and Snape just for some interesting kicks(gasp!) rise out of the stage in a cloud of smoke, dressed in light purple dress robes, their hair either curled (Lily) or tangled in attractive ways (James, Peter, and Snape). They start to sing and dance.

_"Who you think you're kiddin'?_  
_He's the earth and heaven to ya  
__Try to keep it hidden  
__Honey, we can see right through you…"_

As they sing (from now on shown in parenthesis), Remus accompanies with _"Oh, no."_

_"We know how you feel  
__Who you're thinkin' of."_

Remus continues to wander the grounds, stopping underneath the beech tree by the lake, clinging to the trunk.

_"Ohhh! No chance, no way_  
_I won't say it, no no!"_

_"You swoon, you sigh  
__Why deny it? Uh-oh!"_

_"It's too cliché  
__I won't say I'm in love."_

The four shrugged to each other, bridging the lyrics with, _"Oooh, oooh, oooh." _They continue this through the next verse until the last line.

_"I thought my heart had learned its lesson_  
_It feels so good when you start out (Ahhhh)  
__My head it screaming get a grip, boy!" _

He grips his hair and sits down heavily underneath the tree.  
_"Unless you're dyin' to cry your heart out!"_

_"(Ohhhh!) You keep on denyin'  
__Who you are and how you're feelin'  
__Baby, we're not buyin  
__Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling  
__(Ohhh, nooo!)  
__Face it like a grown up  
__When you gonna own up that you  
__Got, got, got it bad? (Woah!)"_

_"No chance, no way  
__I won't say it, no, no."_

_"Give up or give in  
__Check the grin, you're in love." _Remus presses his fingers to his smiling lips.

He frowns. _"This scene  
__Won't play  
__I won't say I'm in love." _

The four start to crowd him and he hesitantly pushes them away. _"You're doin' flips  
__Read our lips  
__You're in love."_

He falls over and holds out a hand to fend them off. _"You're way off base  
__I won't say it."_

They shake their heads. _"He won't say in love."_

_"Get off my case  
__I won't say it!"_

James hands him a flower he got from some random place onstage. _"Boy don't be proud  
__It's okay you're in love."_

Remus seems to noticeably relax and he settles into the grass, twirling the flower around his fingers. _"Ohhhhh…atleast out loud…  
__I won't say I'm in  
__Love." _

The four give him the 'isn't that sweet? Look' and clasp their hands together. _"Sha-la-la-la-la-la…ahhh!" _

Suddenly, the lights went out completely to a loud guitar introduction. A spotlight came up on the other side of the stage where Sirius, dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans with his hair falling around his gray eyes, started singing:

_"Wild thing!_  
_You make my heart sing!  
__You make everything…groovy!  
__Wild thing, I…think you move me." _

He moved over to where Remus is still lying on the ground, looking more than a little freaked at Sirius' sudden entrance. He pulled the werewolf to a standing position and kneeled down before him, moving the microphone away from his lips and back again.

_"But I wanna know for suuuure!_  
_So come on  
__Hold me tight."_

Remus complies, wrapping his arms around Sirius.

_"You move me." _

He paused, as if he couldn't remember the rest (he couldn't) and so just skipped to the one he knew.

Sing with me!"

They both started singing. _"Wild thing  
__You make my heart sing  
__You make everything…groovy.  
__Wild thing, I…" _They turned to each other. _"Think I love you.  
__But I wanna know for suuuure!  
__So come on, hold me tight."_

They held each other close and almost whispered the last line.

_"I love you." _

The curtain closed and an audience that wasn't even there at first explodes into applause.


End file.
